Assignment One Drafts
Assignment One (First Draft -- no interview)
Assignment One (Revised with Interview)
Assignment One (Peer Commented Draft) --
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Assignment One - Final Copy
Assignment One Workshop
The biggest benefit to any collaborative activity is that everyone brings their own perspective, which leads to discussions and suggestions that help us all improve. This was definitely the case for our group's peer workshop. I found that it was invaluable observing what it was my group members focused on when reading my observation notes, and this helped me look at my writing more critically (adopting their perspectives to improve things I wouldn't have otherwise bothered to fix). Some of the constructive comments I received were: that some of the details of my actors are lengthy while some of my artifact details were lacking, to write out abbreviations the first time I use them (BBC, PTSD), to avoid redundant time stamp descriptions (“Same time”), and to explain the importance of the “theories” found in the first observation. I also felt that I was able to contribute my perspective to their papers, and that while we weren't able to finish everyone's paper within the time alloted in class, the discussions we had gave me enough of a starting point to work on revisions.
Assignment One Revisions
For my revisions, I incorporated all of the suggestions my group gave me. I expanded and improved my artifact list while condensing my description of Sherlock. I fixed the inconsistencies and redundancies with my time stamps and did a better job breaking up each event so that there weren't large paragraphs followed by one-liners. I also did quite a bit of rephrasing to make sure that each episode's plot was easy to follow. This included explaining aspects of the show that may be unfamiliar to readers, such as: the heavy use of flashbacks, the “theories” in episode one, and jumping between scenes that are occurring simultaneously. I definitely think I excelled at capturing each character's personality and the significance of their actions. This show requires one's undivided attention in order to fully appreciate the nuances and complexity that is at the heart of the this assignment, and thus, I sacrificed brevity for completeness.